Character Assassination: The State Farm Guy
In this first edition of Character Assassination, allow me to present The State Farm Guy: I don’t know what it is about him that makes me dislike him so. He’s just so… smarmy. He makes me squirm. I...
View ArticleOnStar: Deploying Windbags
The Unhappy Mediator is really disappointed by our collective priorities. Related: Facebook Status Reveals Humanity’s Descent Down (Storm) Drain
View ArticleA Plan for Action… I hope it sticks
This is the banner on Adhesive Squares' website. I don't know what "it" is, either. This morning I received an email press release entitled INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY WITH ADHESIVE SQUARES BRAND ADHESIVES....
View ArticleIncongruous Cross-Promotional Banner Ad of the Day
Doris, could you order us some more legal pads, a box of blue Bics and a 16-pound bird? Thanks.
View ArticleNYC Protests Get Real (Sexy)
While commuters and the news channels were gearing up for Occupy’s subway takeover this afternoon (sayeth the website: “Facing the most brutal assault on our Democracy since 9-11, New Yorkers must...
View ArticleDirty Words
Dispatches from the drugstore. There are some words that simply don’t make me feel cleaner. I’m getting phlegmmy just thinking about it. Colgate: Are you sure-a-phyll? Thanks, again, Skeener.
View ArticleEvery Day is a Special Day
So in case you missed it, Earth Day was this past Sunday, April 22. I didn’t plant a tree, or turn off my lights, or make a statue out of compost. You might say, the nearest I got to observing Earth...
View ArticleHappy Melanoma Monday
What? You didn’t know it was Melanoma Monday? Well it is. It’s motherfucking Melanoma Monday. So stay inside! And please add this to the running list.
View ArticlePhone troubles? Call now!
I tried to email Verizon through the wireless website about a problem with my LG POS. I selected my topic from the drop down menu… Topic: Phones and Accessories Subtopic: Phone is Not Working [sic...
View ArticleURL It Like It Is
While I don’t particularly like being upsold on a rental car when booking a flight (or an extra-leg-room-seat, or other bullshit perks that make buying a plane ticket online take five times as long as...
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